ME and Christine II

So this is how my day went yesterday and today...

Was up at 12am and didn't go back to sleep. I got up and got ready at 5:30am. Cried. Drove Alli Claire to schoold. Cried. Got to work and you guessed it. Cried some more. I pretty much sobbed the entire time I was at work and at 10:30 met my new manager with 13 other unsuspecting employees.... Did I mention I cried. Oh no... not at my desk. I cried the whole time I was in the meeting meeting my new manager :o) Yeah, that's right. I can't imagine what she thought and I really don't care. You can't just uproot someones world and not have a few tears shed. Can I get an Amen?

So at 11:00am I decided I'd had all I could take, took a 1/2 day and mosie on home to catch some zzz's. I was exhausted and couldn't stop crying. A LARGE Wendy's frosty seemed to make things better though. I got about 2 hours of sleep but I was still very teary. Because you see, it was all about me. ME ME ME ME! Dang it!! This happened to ME!

I picked the girls up and we met Martin at the 24 hour time of prayer event at church prior to our Living Truth conference starting tomorrow. This couldn't have come at a better time. And I truly mean that. We got the kids situated in an unused Sunday School room and gave them books, toys and other stuff to keep themselves occupied for an hour. We entered the sanctuary and picked up out prayer sheets. Because me and God had stuff to talk about some more. I needed Him to know what I was going through and wanted him to fix it. And "fix" the people who'd lied to me. And then something happened as I prayed and talked to my Father, my Jesus, my friend. I realized it wasn't about me. Can you believe that?? How dare He! And as my focus shifted off of myself and I realized who really held my lot and my portion, I realized and knew that He'd never let me down... ever. And he wasn't going to this time either. I chose to allow him to work through me no matter what and to know that He is in control of this whole situation. I was reminded that He puts us through fire in order to refine us, mold us and make us what we're supposed to be. Oh my gosh!! How wonderful is that??! I've never had a trial that I've come out worse than when I went into it. So I began to thank Him for the situation I'm in, even though I don't like it, but I know I'm going to be so much better for it. I can't wait to look on the other side and see His hand at work and be so proud of what He did for me. After we finished and Ed and Sallie prayed with/for us, we went out with them and Paula and Andy for pizza. My attitude had changed and it turned out to be a pretty fantastic night! Whoda thunk it??

Now on to tonight... me and about 12 other ladies went out for dinner and a movie. I had been looking forward to this all day. I'd gotten my consignment stuff done, had time to take a shower AND shave my legs! My friends... this is a big deal! (Martin can atest :o) I hit the door without looking back. You see Alli Claire was standing at the door screaming for Mommy to come back. She knows just what to do to break my heart. But, I wasn't missing out on this night for anything. I took the Maxima because gas has gone up 30 cents since yesterday and it doesn't guzzle gas like the Tahoe does. Anywho... the Maxima is 12 years old now and has seen better days. But we're going to drive it until the wheels fall off. Well, I got about 6 miles from the house and was on the interstate when I had to "punch it Margaret" to get around another car. When I let off of the gas (going 80 mph)"Twinkie" didn't realize I had done so and proceded to continue on our path all by herself. I think now is a good time to tell you that the breaks didn't work at this point either. Do you remember the movie "Christine"??? I panicked and threw it into Neutral pegging the RPM's at 7000 :o) I didn't blow the motor, but at that point, I really didn't care. After I was able to get it pulled over on side of the road I called Martin in a shaking, panicked state. You know the over exagerated Saturday Night live skits where the person is shaking so badly that it just looks ridiculous? Did you know that can really happen??? He advised me to turn the car off and pull the gas pedal off of the floor and see what happened. I did and it ran fine after that. However, I didn't go over 60mph for the rest of the night. I made it to dinner and had a great time with new friends. Lots of laughing and then the movie... The Women. If you're a girl, go see it. If not, you wouldn't understand it anyway. Don't bother. If you're gay, rent it. Don't go to the theater to see it. It made us wonder if we were in the wrong theater or not. It's just too confusing for the ladies.

What a roller coaster the last 48 hours have been! I wouldn't trade it for anything!! I am so blessed in more ways than one. Wow, what a ride...